Marriage, or any long-term stable relationship, can be the most wonderful thing that ever happens to us or it can be boring, toxic, or painful. The physical and psychological devastation of abusive relationships is not our topic here. If that is your situation, get on-the-spot help immediately!

For most of us, the problem is the monotony that can set in after months or years of living with the same person. Despite our affection for each other, and our commitment to the relationship, we start taking each other for granted. The initial excitement fades into a pleasant collegiality that keeps us content most of the time. It is only occasionally, when we see a particular movie, or talk to a good looking stranger at a business meeting, that we miss those sparks that no longer fly. 

The giddiness of falling in love can probably never be sustained over the long haul. It is thrilling and exhilarating but also all-consuming and dominating. We have lives to lead and other needs compel our attention. We learn to balance our personal love life with the demands of career, children, community, and a broader social life. Often, the outside world takes so much of our time and attention that we neglect the relationship that is so central to what we are.

Here are seven strategies you can use to nurture that relationship and keep it a fresh and vibrant part of your overly busy life.